Have an Attitude You Can Be Proud Of Even Through Trials

That's really not the part I want to focus on though. That was just one day. It’s the days after, when the shock wears off that the real pain comes.  My Father in Heaven buoyed me up and let me float through the first of it all somehow. What I do remember is the service that people gave us. I have clear memories that stick out of neighbors coming over and weeding our garden and planting flowers. I remember going to school the next day and a friend of mine became my guardian. I remember feeling like if I didn’t want to talk to anyone I didn’t have to and that she would explain. Our friends and those around me were a great example. In the years following, I have come to realize that not only did it help me, but it helped them! They had lost someone too. That was a life-changer. To serve others helps us forget about ourselves for a moment and think of and love others better.  

After awhile people moved on with their lives. They were affected, but my life was changed, forever changed. Probably one of the most significant events in helping me carry on and be happy, happened a year or two later. I was in college away from my family and I found out that my brother’s appendix had ruptured and he was in the hospital. My mother said she’d contact me when she knew anything more than that. A ruptured appendix can be a very serious thing. So I expected the worst. But I could do nothing but wait.

I decided to go for a run. The actual running didn’t last long because I started worrying about what could happen and crying+running=breathing difficulties. I slowed to a walk, thoughts still reeling. My brother had always been one of my best friends and heroes. After my dad died he had stepped up as a father figure in mine and my other siblings life, and now God was going to take HIM away from me too? I started pleading with my Heavenly Father that He wouldn’t. It wouldn’t be fair! Then I started to think about what I really believed. Did I really believe God loved me? Did I believe there was life after death and that I would see my dad again? And if my brother died would I see him again? Did I believe that whatever happened, my Father in Heaven would take care of me? That I would be ok? I realized right then, that the answer was yes to all those questions. My beliefs became real to me then. Not just something to hold on to, or to hope in because it comforted me (Like in my Dad’s death.) I told God that I trusted him. I felt peace- not necessarily that my brother would be fine, but that God had a plan and that He loved me. I knew that no matter what, He would take care of me. That is faith. Not believing that nothing bad will happen to you, but knowing that the Lord will take care of you when it does.