I have a few more contributors in this series. I am so excited to be sharing the next one with you. I am excited because she seriously amazes me. I know her from junior high and we cheered together in high school. She is amazing even though her trial is one that scares me so bad. I hope you can feel how amazing she is as well through this post! Here's Heidi!
As I sit down to write about this, I am very emotional, but
not because of the trials I have faced in my life, but because I am so very
blessed.
Every single person has individualized trials that are dealt
their way. Not any one person is exempt
from this. But trials come in all
different shapes, sizes, degrees, colors…you get the point. I remember saying some years ago, “I am so grateful my trial in life isn’t that
I’m a single mom….I could never do that.”
Heavenly Father knows each one of us individually and knows how to test
us in such a way that we can reach our highest potential. I was divorced 2 ½ years ago and became a
single mom of 3 beautiful boys. They
bless my life in so many immeasurable ways.
We most definitely have our challenges, but we make the best of
everything we have.
A couple of years ago, in
the middle of my divorce, my children were learning a song for their primary
program. It talked about Noah being a
man of no fear, but when he taught repentance, the people would not hear him. When the Lord asked him to build a boat, he
did and he was prepared for the rain falls.
The second verse in that song relates Noah to us and how we can be like
Noah, building our arks and doing what we know is right. The chorus says,
“I will
build my ark before it starts to rain.
I will follow the prophet, for he speaks in
God’s name.
I’ll
prepare ev’ry needful thing. I will walk in righteous ways.
When the
rain starts to fall on me, I’ll be ready for that day”
The first time I really listened to the words in that song,
it hit me like a ton of bricks that everything I was taught from the beginning
of my life by my parents, nursery leaders, primary teachers, mutual leaders,
every calling I have ever served in, every sacrament meeting, stake conference,
general conference attended, everything I had been taught throughout my life,
was preparing me for challenges I would eventually face and was currently
facing. My parents and leaders had
prepared me. I had gained an undeniable
testimony, that the Lord loved me, and I could not say that I was not “ready
for that day.” All I had to do, was hold
on to that testimony and the knowledge I had, and not be afraid to do hard
things.
Many challenges came in a short amount of time and I had to learn
to quickly adapt. Although I did little
jobs here and there to keep up my nursing license, I still considered myself a
stay home mom for 7 ½ years. Suddenly I
needed to find a full time job, I had to consider moving, and would now only be
able to see my children half of every week.
I was terrified to work again, I loved my neighborhood and didn’t want
to move. I couldn’t imagine my life without my kids at all, let alone for even
half of the time.
My Heavenly Father knows me, and He loves me. The same week my divorce was final, I was
offered a full time job that would allow me to keep my home, and allowed me to
work when my kids were with their dad, so that when they come home, I can just be home with them, and give
them all of the energy I have. My family
lives close by and always without question, steps in to help however we
need. My friends and neighbors also are
always looking out for us and quickly turned into family. They are all such examples to me and I only
hope I can give back in some way.
I so strongly feel that it is so important to surround
yourself with positive relationships. You
become like the people you surround yourself with; so surround yourself with people
who will lift you up when you are down, people who you know you can count on, and
people who share your joys, struggles and triumphs. But more importantly, BE that same kind of
person back! It will bring you joy and
happiness. I know this, because I am
surrounded by so many of these kinds of people, and they make me want to be a
better person every single day because of their example to me. Truly, I am blessed.
My children are my absolute world, and we live a happy life!
We have our struggles, yes. But every family does. Our family may look and function a little bit
different than a “traditional family” but we function, and we love each
other. My boys are the bravest boys I
know. They’ve been through so much in
their short little lives. Besides having
their parents divorce, they have faced so much change that came with that. They’ve experienced loss in multiple
ways. My brother passed away unexpectedly
this summer who was very close to them.
They are oh so very strong and THEY are my heroes.
I’ve always heard the saying that “it takes a village to
raise children,” but never did I fully understand what that truly meant. I couldn’t be more grateful for those who are
aware of my children and their needs.
It’s as simple as walking through the door at church with my hands
completely full and a fatherly figure noticing and taking a moment to teach my
boys chivalry and helping them hold the door open for their mom, or the example
of respectful and obedient 12 year old boys, whom my kids idolize and mimic
everything they do. Or a soccer coach
who they can look up to, or a school teacher who cares. Or grandparents, aunts, uncles and friends
who at a moment’s notice, will drop anything and everything for the sake of my
children when in need. Most of this
“village” probably doesn’t even know how much they contribute to raising my
children. Truly, I am very blessed and
so very grateful.
Going back to work was a hard adjustment. In fact, I cried and cried when I was first
offered the job because I was terrified.
I felt like a brand new nurse all over again. And I quickly realized how much the world had
changed since I had been living in a little “stay- home- mommy bubble” for
quite some time now. I wasn’t sure I
would be able to make friends at my new job.
Friends were made who have turned into my work family and I absolutely
love my job. I find joy and happiness in
serving those who are nearing the end of their lives. Truly, I am blessed.
It is important to me to pass on the love of serving others
to my family. At a particular
challenging time in my life, I came across a quote by Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf
that says, “As we lose ourselves in the service of others, we discover our own
lives and our own happiness.” This
statement couldn’t be truer. When I am
giving any kind of service, whether it be big or small, I am able to forget
about all the worries I have and find true joy in serving. This is how I eventually was able to find my own
happiness. It is hard when the kids
leave and the house suddenly feels like a big empty box, but it was
particularly hard in the very beginning.
I had friends who knew when the kids were leaving and always had plans
for me so I wouldn’t have to just be home alone. It was because of those friends and family
members who wouldn’t let me wallow in my woes, that I learned to stay busy, and
I was the happiest when I was busy helping others. I hope my children too can learn to find this
kind of joy in serving.
So, although our family faces its own challenges, and my
life looks quite different than I had ever imagined; through simple things, we
find happiness. Yes being divorced is
hard, and yes being a single mom is hard.
But who’s life’s challenges aren’t hard?
Every life challenge is hard! I can’t sit here and say that there
weren’t times when I was angry, frustrated, upset and overwhelmed, because
there most definitely were. And in fact,
I still have times when I feel that way.
But I have been so blessed by those around me and by my Heavenly Father,
that I just cannot be ungrateful. I am
happy.
I am grateful for the
lessons I have learned through life’s challenges, as they have shaped me into
the imperfect person I am today. I know
I am a stronger person because of what I have learned along the way. I know that each challenge I face only prepares
me for the next, and as long as I hold on to that testimony and lean on the
“ark” I have built, there is always a way to find happiness. ALWAYS.
I have never felt more carried by
my Heavenly Father than I do now. He
won’t ever leave us. He won’t ever leave
me. All we have to do is stay close to
Him and hold on to what we know.
Read the other posts in this series:
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