Today...I broke down. This is not unusual really. Being a mom is the hardest thing I have ever done. I fail EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Then tomorrow I try to do better, just to turn around and basically repeat yesterday. Very frustrating.
I stick my daughter in front of the TV. I do NOT feed her well balanced meals (not even close). Honestly she eats Goldfish and chocolate milk many days of the week. Some days I barely see her or even talk to her. I haven't had a play date in months. She is so attached to her "game" (tablet) that she has a meltdown if she can't find it. She is two and a half and still NEEDS a binkie and guess what? I am doing nothing about it. When we leave basically anywhere that she is having fun, she turns into a monster from somewhere terrible and will basically kill us to get away from us. So today when I put all these things together I thought to myself, "I am failing at being a mom."
Luckily, that thought and that feeling didn't last long. Thankfully I have amazing women in my life that pick me up during times like this. I have been inspired by so many women that I know personally or that I know from a distance by reading about their experiences.
Do you want to know something? This feeling is normal. I honestly think most of moms go through a process just like this. We all want to be perfect for our little ones and we want them to have the best mom in the world. We want to EARN that t-shirt or mug or whatever you were given that said World's BEST MOM!
After I had that horrible thought I then thought about all the amazing things I do to be a good mom. No. I don't feed her a balanced meal, but I feed her. I try and give her lots of options and even though it isn't every meal I do provide balanced meals. I thought to myself, "She does eat a lot of vegetables." I need to look at it that way instead of the negative way.
Yes. I do stick her in front of the TV...at times. Honestly, it is not that much though. I only do it when it is vital. I try and do play pen time when work is crazy. That way she is being creative instead of watching mind numbing TV. Also, when she watches TV I try to have it be educational. Although at times it is not I try to make it at least 90% of the time educational.
I do work. This is probably the main source of my guilt. She sometimes begs me not to work. However, I have the awesome opportunity to work from home. Most days work can mold around my schedule (there are some exceptions). So that means I get to go to play dates sometimes (still working on scheduling those), I get to take her to the library, I get to go to the park with her. I get to do those things while she is awake and work while she is sleeping. Again, most of the time.
|Happy 4th of July times. Mommy shading her.|
|At Mommy and Me dance class|
|Picnic in the backyard this last Summer|
|Our color picture scavenger hunt we did this last Summer|
|Did she seriously used to be that little? You can tell I am a newer more tired mommy here, huh?|
Then we come to the binkie. That is something that I just need to do. I need to pull it off like a band-aid. I am so scared because it soothes her so much at night, but I know it has to be done so she isn't putting it in her honeymoon bag when she gets married. However, that one thing does not make me be a failing mom.
|Making a rainbow "R" for "R" Week!|
|One of the many bedtime stories we have read. Love this book BTW (see this post for more that I love)|
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