Sep 17, 2015

Our Beautiful Baby Girl - Isla

Photo Credit for all pictures: Sierra Rose Photography
After my last post I spent many more days in the hospital.  The hospital soon felt like my home away from home.

This post is the final update of our hospital stays and birth of our baby girl.  Everything stayed calm for about a week.  Then things started to pick up again.  

Monday, August 3rd 2015 (in last post, but bringing you up to speed):  I went into Labor and Delivery at 5:00 am after having consistent and hard contractions since 11 pm the night before.  I tried to get them to stop for hours, but after not being able to sleep all night long I decided to go into Labor and Delivery.  

I hadn't dilated anymore (well I take that back I dilated .5 cm).  So they tried to get my contractions under control and gave me some medicine to help with the pain.  After being there 6 hours they released me and told me to take it easy.  They told me not to eat too much at every meal in case I had to come back in for a c-section (more on that later).  

I went home and my husband got me a good meal and then I passed out for about 4 hours.  I needed that sleep.  The rest of the day and night were uneventful.  I still had contractions, but they hadn't progressed anymore so I didn't go in.  

Tuesday, August 4th, 2015:  I laid down with Hannelore for her nap and while laying there I had a stabbing pain in my uterus.  It wasn't a contraction.  I had no idea what it was, but it wasn't normal.  I got up from laying with her and walked around a bit.  That stabbing pain happened 2 more times.  The rest of the day I had contractions that were irregular, but were very long and hard when they came.  This day I felt weird.  I couldn't put my feelings into words other than something didn't feel right.

Wednesday, August 5th, 2015:  After sleeping pretty well for a 36 week pregnant lady I got up at 5 am and I had more blood clots.  This time it felt like something was different.  I felt like the placenta had started to detach again.  Suddenly the stabbing pains in my uterus were making more and more sense.  

This time I called my mom because I felt like my husband needed to be at the hospital.  Once my mom got to the house we headed back up to Labor and Delivery.  They monitored the bleeding and the contractions.  They were pretty hard, but nothing was progressing.  

My doctor came in around 9 am and told me that they had to wait to deliver the baby until tomorrow (37 week mark).  The only way I would have the baby today was if the baby or my body was in distress or something started progressing.  I started crying because I was so done with the unknown.  I was so scared all the time when the bleeding started.  I never knew if that meant it had pulled away a little or a lot.  It was emotionally draining.  My doctor said she would schedule a c-section tomorrow, but we had to make it until tomorrow.  They wanted me to stay a bit longer to monitor me and the baby though.  

After she left the room my husband went into all the positives about it.  He told me that I finally had a deadline.  That is what I had wanted for weeks.  I had wanted a light at the end of the tunnel.  He told me that we could go home that night and have one more dinner with Hannelore and do bedtime and have everything normal one more night.  Yes I would be in pain, but that is nothing new lately.  I started to calm down and see his vision.  

Right then, (not but 5 minutes after my doctor left) I felt a pop in my uterus.  It was such a weird feeling.  At the same time my baby's heart rate stopped the pattern it was showing before.  It wasn't gone, but it wasn't as active as a heart beat.  So I called the nurse in.  I told my her and my husband that it didn't really hurt and that it lasted only a second.  

The nurse said the baby still looked fine.  Then she asked me if I felt any fluids and I said no.  However, about 5 seconds later I did.  That is when we found out my water broke.  The nurse called my doctor and that was something that would make having the baby happen today.  

So right then we set up a c-section for the earliest time available, in between 11 and noon.  In the meantime the contractions got longer, harder, and closer together.  Everything was a whirlwind.  They prepped me for surgery and soon enough I was in getting a c-section.

Now to why I had a c-section.  I had a c-section because of the placenta detaching.  Laboring can cause the placenta to detach more.  Since it was already happening I didn't want "more" to happen.  So I choose c-section since I am not a risk taker.  I was really sad about it, but at the same time felt at peace.

The c-section went well and I actually got to see my beautiful baby girl quite quickly.  I got to hold her soon after having her and that was a relief.  They wheeled me to my room and we settled in.

Pretty soon after my mom and sister brought up Hannelore to meet her sister.  It was the most special moment watching the first time they met.  She is so in love.  The first thing she said was a gasp followed by, "She is soooo cute!"  Right then I knew that my family was perfect.  It felt so right and so good.

Our hospital stay was pretty good.  I had some phenomenal nurses and aides.  The walking part was horrendous, but I knew what I was getting into because I had had a c-section before.  I was fully prepared.  Honestly, I think it was a little easier the second time around.

I was ready to go home on Saturday and then everything went spiraling out of control.  I got really really sick.  I felt nauseous and then I felt really dizzy and out of it.  I think it was the narcotics.  So I started easing up on those and then the pain was much worse.  I was on nausea medicine and in pain.  Since everything happened like that I decided it was better to stay at the hospital one more night.

After I decided to stay I became very emotional.  I thought I was going home and then that wasn't the case.  I felt like everyone was telling me what to do when it came to feeding my baby and I could feel my anxiety getting out of control.  Honestly, before everyone started meddling she was eating beautifully.  Her blood sugar levels were wonderful.  Then everything went down hill.

That night my friend Ashley came to visit and she told me not to listen to anyone and listen to myself.  She told me that I will know what my baby needs.  I cried when she said that because I knew she was right.  I knew I needed to start taking matters into my own hands and just take care of me and my baby.

Even with that realization I still had an emotional night.  It didn't help that I had a nurse that was not the most kind person (for lack of better words).  That night was the first night that Ryan went home to be with Hannelore.  So I was stuck there alone and felt completely alone since my nurse was being so rude.

Thankfully, I got to go home the next day.  It was such a huge relief.  The only draw back was that Isla's bilirubin was climbing.  So we had to go home and put her on the lights.  This broke my heart because all I wanted to do was hold her.  Also, she wasn't eating great when we left the hospital.  So everyone was so concerned.

Thankfully, when we got home she started eating well again.  I can almost promise it had to do with my anxiety being in the hospital and having so many people look at me and critique everything I was doing.  They were being kind about it and honestly just trying to help, but it was very overwhelming.

Now I have to give a shoot out to my amazing nurse that discharged me.  She was the best nurse for the job that day.  She had been my nurse during my undelivered stay and she had been my nurse twice since delivering.  I honestly can not thank her enough.

I was a mess the day that I was discharged.  There was too much going on.  Hannelore was acting out.  Probably half because she could sense my tension and half because her world was being turned upside down.  My nurse took complete charge and took Hannelore under her wing and made her feel like a princess.  She was able to ride out on her own wheelchair.  She was given so much attention.  It made everything so much better.

Life has been crazy since we brought this little piece of heaven home.  I wouldn't change it for the world.  I apologize for my absence here.  I have so many posts almost ready.  I have so many ideas and so many pictures to edit.  Be patient as I get them up.  I am trying to get them done ASAP.  

P.S.  Her name is pronounced "eye-la".

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